35 Comments

216+ languages? I guess that's good to start with but as a professional bio-writer I feel like you could play up your accomplishments more. Don't be afraid to show some confidence. You got this!

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Hahahahaha. This made me lol. So perfect. I almost feel like adding it as an "Editor's note."

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You can do it!

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Plus, In sure you've discovered that if you reverse translate War and Peace and play it at 78rpm, the title becomes War is Peace and the novel takes place on a pig farm in Siberia.

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Yes! Peace & War takes place on a pig farm in St. Petersburg, Florida!

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I thought that was me. :(

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We should work on our bios together. I find mine to be somewhat lacking so a wee bit of a fluff can go a long way.

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I'm all for fluff. Which reminds me you forgot to include the years we worked as Bob and Ray.

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Ok, so I do not know them, but it looks like I have a couple guys to queue up.

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Hm. I thought that might show my age. :) I reached back deep in the hippocampus for that one. Dry, low key humorissts (that's us, right?) pre youth revolution. Slow. The world has moved on.

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I don’t think I’m that far behind you.

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I forgot about your Mets' phase...

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My accomplishments all crowd each other away. It's very hard to keep track of it all.

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Wow. This Nathan guy is amazing. I believe everything he says he's done, except for his given name ‘Adam’. C’mon! ‘Adam’ like the first-ever man to roam the Earth Adam? Nah, I don't buy it. I'm sorry.

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That just felt like bragging.

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A true renaissance man!

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I consider it an aspirational bio.

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It's because of your role in Game 6, that I led the petition movement with the English departments of BU, BC, Harvard, and the entire Boston public school system that canceled your ass decades before cancellation was s thing. For my personal role in that prescient movement, I remain steadfastly proud and wish you a continued royalty-free career.

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My career runs no risk of royalties anytime soon, but I do want to say that my roommate for that series was a huge Red Sox fan and I was a huge Mets fan and Game 6 was a long night for both of us, but ultimately much longer for him. That's the most exciting baseball game I've ever watched.

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It was a mere flesh wound for the likes of me, a classic set-up for 2004.

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I love All Things Considered.

Freaking genius.

Or braggadocious .

Oops, read that last sentence too fast, I thought it said your wife’s name was Eiffel.

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The only two things true in that entire bio are that I'm married and live in Brooklyn.

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So, two is good…

Btw, I was watching CBS new ‘Sunday Morning’ and thought of you. In case you missed it;

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/protecting-whales-from-ship-strikes/

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Oh, couldn’t it be me? Genderless …

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It absolutely could be you, but you'll need to add at least one more absurd accolade to the mix.

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Hehe, this made me laugh. Reverse translation of War and Peace. Quite the list of achievements there. ;)

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I believe anyone who focuses on fiction should be able to completely reinvent themselves in their author bios., and I'm not sure what I would put in a nonfiction one. "Has modest little Substack where he pen little stories monthly."

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I think you're absolutely right. Makes me want to do the same.

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I do hope your subject-verb agreement is better than mine above. Although maybe that makes it even more of a keeper. :-)

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Given such grammatical statements baffle me, I don’t think there’s much hope for me. ;)

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I really wish somebody said something about the December, 2000 Bible stories date or the eight continents. You’re all fired.

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I'm upset that nobody has commented on the addition of AI hair to my profile photo. Other than the creepy AI fingers, I rather like him.

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The delicate little fingers. 😁

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Aren't they just? I only wish there were six or seven of them.

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Indeed, some extra tiny digits would give readers more confidence that you can hold a coffee mug or a cold beer steady.

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