I did it.
Oof - this is raw and agonizing, Adam - you did it for 10ish years, I think you said, but I wonder if you ever had a mentor that you could have talked to about your feelings? Emphasizing that I know NOTHING about the field of acting (despite my sparkling grade school resume) it sounds like a wicked case of stage fright in a lot of ways, or at least some sort of stage shame. Thanks for sharing.
Never saw Parting Glances, I was a deeply closeted high schooler at the time, it would have been too much for me.
I am less familiar with your acting than I am with your writing (something I will change because Parting Glances is a must-see film for me) but I certainly hope that shame doesn't await you in the wings of your writing desk. And if it does, allow me to extinguish it. You are such a gifted storyteller. I am immersed so deeply into your world every time you publish an essay and am grateful for your voice. Keep telling your story - the ugly, the beautiful - I'm here for it all.
Bloody hell, Adam... Who knew it was possibly to go from urgently needing to climb out of my own skin to smugly slow clapping at my computer screen, so quickly.