Story #16: Love Herman with a comma

A fourth-grader falls in love with his teacher. A short story in letters.

❤️

Dear Springrose

I snuck Miss. Stimson a valentine days card on her chair. I told her I loved her. Miss. Stimson is my home room teacher.

I am in the fourth grade at Brookview Elementary School in the state of Vermont USA. She is twenty two yeers old or maybe twenty four yeers old. I wrote Miss. Stimson she is beutiful and I can wait for her.

She kept me after class. Now I have to write a letter to you by hand every single time I want to send a letter to a teacher. You may get alot of letters from me.

My hand is getting tired from writing this.

She said somewhere out there is my future wife right now who is you and you might be one yeers old or twelve yeers old but not twenty seven yeers old.

She said maybe you are brushing your hair at this exact second or reading but she doesn’t know where and I should guess in my letter and then tell you what I’m guessing.

My hand is really falling off.

I asked how do I know what your name is and she said I should pick a season and a flower and that will be your name. That is why you are Springrose because I could’nt think of any other ones.

Also I have to sign my letters Love Herman with a comma because someday when I give these to you you will check for spelling and those such things.

Love Herman with a comma

P.s. she just said Miss doesn’t have a period after it but it is okay for this once. Im sorry. Goodbye.

❤️

Dear Miss Springrose

I am in detention again.

They asked in Tuesday afternoon art class which is after music but before geography what our favorite color was. I said mine was a secret.

The hole class starting yelling it was brown and then pink and all the other worst colors, but I wouldn’t say.

Mrs. Sharp really wanted to know and promissed it would be our secret and there are no bad colors, and I said my favorite color was Miss Stimsons hair color which was red so thats why Im in detention again and writing to my future wife who is you like you already know.

Miss Stimson said you might be writing letters back to me at exactly the same time as I am writing letters to you but you look up the spelling of words and I don’t. She said you probably won’t marry someone who doesn’t use commas or look up hard words or use paragraphs correctly.

She said the next letter she is going to have to proof read. Then I have to write the whole thing all over again with all the fixes.

My hand hurts.

Love Herman with a comma

P.s. Yeers has an a in it. Its yeArs

❤️

Dear Miss Springrose,

Now I’m in trouble about math. We are learning division. I said one divided by one in division is equal to twenty seven minus nine to be funny.

I’m not writing a lot because I have to write everything without mistakes all over again anyway. So please count this as two letters or four hundred milion divided by nine.

I hope you become a teacher but become whatever you like except for a math teacher.

Last night I thought about you teaching a class with me as coteachers and you would be brushing your hair on a stool while it was my turn to instruct. As you must well know girls like to brush their hair. Were you brushing your hair around 7 o’clock?

Love Herman with a comma

P.s. This is the third time she made me write this over again and most of it I had to take out. She said all my periods ran away from hoem but the period after Miss she is glad it did. If I get in detention again she will show me commas. I stuck one up there after Springrose now.

❤️

Dear Springrose,

This is Herman. This summer Miss Stimson moved to a different state of Massashoesetts USA. She turned from a Miss into a Missus my mom said but she wasn’t surprised at all because she was a gorjous woman.

I thought teachers stayed in their same schools. Most of them do in Vermont.

I think she moved because of me.

Love Herman with a comma

P.S. there were probably other reasons. Not just me of course.

❤️

Dear Springrose,

All I have now are letters to you which is fine.

Are you still there? Are you two years old yet? I hope you are twenty three years old but it is okay if you aren’t. You can be from eight years old to twenty seven years old. That is a joke.

Do you have a bike? Is it a fast one? Do you like sports? Do you play violin? Do you have a sister? Are you pretty? Do you have a brother? One of those is a hidden question.Haha.

Miss Stimson had a bike that she rode to school with her backpack. I miss her even if she wouldn’t be my homeroom teacher this year anyway. She still would watch the students in the cafeteria on Mondays and Thursdays. She had a whistle but she didn’t use it much. She made everybody laugh with it.

If were getting married please be beautiful as you know who. You don’t have to be beautiful though if you’re not. I still love you. I will, I mean. I don’t know who you are yet. Please don’t be a math teacher.

Someone said I cried when I found out Miss Stimson moved away but that isn’t true.

Love Herman with a comma

P.S. If you have a backpack and a whistle please blow it as you bike past my house. I will hear you and come out.

P.P.S. That is a joke.

❤️

Dear Herman,

This is Springrose. I am now nine years old.

I’m sorry to hear that Miss Stimson turned into Mrs. Andersen and moved to Massachusetts.

It’s time you think more about me (Springrose.) I also have a whistle and red hair. I know that I think about you while I’m brushing it and wonder where you are out there. You must be out there somewhere. Perhaps you are thinking of me right now!

Please save our letters. You can share them with me on our wedding night, and I will share the letters that I wrote for you (at exactly the same time.)

We will take turns and read them together and remember when we were both nine years old, and we both felt so much, and we hadn’t even met each other yet!

No more letters until we are married, though. I think that would be best. I am sure that with such a big, romantic heart as your own, you can wait patiently for the little girl with the red hair and a whistle.

Your writing is coming along wonderfully, and I am pleased with your progress. If I were she, I would have been deeply touched by your letters.

Love Springrose with a comma

❤️

Roger Miller’s “Little Green Apples”

A nine-year-old in the state of New Jersey USA might have liked this song. Love Adam with a comma.