8 Comments

This is a really beautiful description. I had never thought of a father being surprised by love for his children in this way, but it rings so absolutely and touchingly true.

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Thank you, Sydney. I don't mention in the piece that he was an older father that may account for the surprise. I think originally his understanding of children was more transactional and bound up in his ideas of himself. We would be the recipients of his success, vessels for his success, satisfying the generational impulse to matter. Instead he found something precious in this one - and none of the former. A decent trade all things considered. I don't know if you've read the second piece in this series. There's a lot of competition for eyeballs and time out here, but if you're curious look at the piece My Father. And thank you again.

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Thanks, Adam! That makes a lot of sense - you do a great job of distilling and expressing the nuance of discovering and navigating truth through lives and relationships. It's quite the individual journey for each of us, and it's a gift that you can both observe and describe with such clarity. Thanks for recommending My Father - I keep coming around to your pieces in kind of random order. They are always enjoyable as standalones, but I look forward to spending some time more sequentially :)

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I love the way you say he recognized them somehow, that's so true. So strange that it is always a surprise!

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Most of the time - giving myself the liberty of speaking for everyone else under the sun - we are looking for love and are happy or relieved that we find it, but the most mysterious love may be the love that finds us. "Wow, when did I fall so completely in love with you? You weren't at all who I thought I would find." Or "I thought I didn't love you at all and it turns out I love you completely." This is much closer to my experience of my father.

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Jan 23Edited

You never mentioned at what point in your life did you realize this about your dad , now, looking back to the past , or when you were growing up?

Regardless , he allowed you to read what was in his heart . Now a story , a memory really , only for you and your brother to gently tuck away and take out every once in a while to remember your dad’s love held no boundaries.

What an incredible thing to know about your dad . Surprised by love. A beautiful story to cherish.

Thank you for sharing it.

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"Life had, in its own time, and rather effortlessly, outsmarted him." - I just love this. Isn't this the way life works for all of us?

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Just as you surprised me with the love-heavy yearly letters (for your children) tradition you shared a few weeks ago, once more I am moved by this beautiful experience. I find it so refreshing and inspiring.

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