Chapter 24: I Will Never, Ever Marry You

Parting Glances, Woody Allen, a miserable acting career, love, regret, drugs and contrition.

A still with Steve Buscemi from Parting Glances (1986)

When I met her, there was at least part of her that wanted to get married more than anything in the world, that wanted to have a family, that wanted to have a baby. You can’t imagine what that word meant to her and how she said it. She held the idea of that imagined baby so close in her heart you couldn’t see where the mother left off and the baby began.

And when she smiled, and this is what got me right away, right there in the early going, before the first morning walk home even, there was something in her eyes, some persistent and intractable doubt, under the laugh and behind the smile, something that held on for an extra moment when it looked at you, something that always asked if you loved her, I mean really, really loved her.

And with all my heart, especially in those early days, before the ugly, knock-down, drag out early Sunday morning fights, and the I will never, ever, EVER fucking marry you, do you hear me? I’d have to be …